Do people write blogs in 2022? 

I am embarking on something that feels big to me.  I am leading a young and amazing school in Beijing China after 16 years at a fabulous school in Honolulu.  I don't know where to put all the big feelings and insights about this for my family and friends, so I am putting some of them here.  

What's the point?  

So, I will be writing quite a bit in the scope of my new role as head of school.  This is another space.  It will be about being a Head of School, but also just about being me, Emily.  Maybe I will leave lots of stuff unpublished, maybe I will only share it with my parents. That's the kinda vibe I imagine here.  Maybe I'll edit this once I get a better sense of purpose.  Saying it straight before I say it great, as a wise friend always reminds me. 

Leadership Coaches (Aleasha, Jennifer, Kelly) will always remind you that your strengths are not always good-- that all of our strengths have two sides to them, the moments when they help, and the moments when they can get in the way.  Much of the work I've enjoyed in executive coaching has been around unpacking when something felt hard and identifying the strength of mine that was getting in the way. My top five strengths from Clifton Strengths Finder are Futuristic, Strategic, Ideate, Optimistic, Achiever.  These strengths are not well suited to sitting back and resisting action, or for maintaining the status quo. I learned this year how I needed to navigate a "lame duck" year as Principal. 

For most  of my career, I have found success in building, in re-inventing and trying new things. I certainly did that every day as a teacher, I never even kept a syllabus from the year before because I knew things would be different the next year (new technology, new kids, new media, new perspectives).  And in the International Center and as Principal, I was always at the helm of pointing the ship in new directions, in trying things out, in being, as Susie Caldwell says, brave over perfect. 

Once it became common knowledge that this school year would be my last, my normal "building" mode, had to be quickly adjusted. In short order I learned that my capacity to encourage folks to "try it out" or "see if maybe next year we can. . . " suddenly had ZERO sway.  Any decision I made was up for negotiation with others ("since she won't be here")-- not because people were trying to go around me, but they were being pragmatic, and (especially in the COVID context of education) suffice it to say, things are tough these days. 

So instead of shiny new programs or initiatives, I had to shift my energy and focus. Coach extraordinaire, Jennifer, helped (and kept helping me see) I could beat my head against the wall trying to do things that the system would continue to reject, or shift where I put my energy. (Turns out turning the energy off for the year was not desirable -- or feasible for me!) With Jennifer, I framed an action plan for the year that was a blend of professional and personal.  What did I want to accomplish with respect to my relationships at the school? What did I want to take with me, so to speak?  How did I want to feel at the end of the year?  

I wanted to use more time to support people who were early in their journeys as educational leaders, people I love and admire-- and to support great ideas and make space for other people be the spokespeople for the great ideas. I also knew that I had to lean into my own learning, so I signed up for another type of coaching experience for burnt out high achieving women, and it was transformational. I joined in community and fellowship (weekly on zoom) with three other amazing women who were on the same year-long transition to being a head of school. I started to learn how to box, how to tile a floor, and kept weaving. I spent more time with my family and friends. 

While it was a hard year professionally in many ways, it was also a really a good year. I leaned about ways I can feel complete and can direct my strengths (even outside of the professional space!).  We hear about balance all the time, but in slowing down my drive at work this year, I was able to learn more about listening, about the value of a pause and reflection. And, while this work started as a coping strategy for a lame duck year, like all good applied learning, it changed me. I am entering my new role a different leader than I would have if I had started a year ago.  

For the past 14 months, I have been answering lots of questions with these six words: "I don't have my visa, yet."  Since I accepted the position of Head of School of Keystone Academy in Beijing in the late spring of 2021, small talk  seemed to start with some question about when I was leaving for China and truth was, it depended on when my visa was approved. Too long a story, so I just used these words to move the conversation along. 

The "yet" was something that most educators have been using aggressively at least since the work of Carol Dweck has become popularized--the growth mindset!  I didn't have my visa then, but that is not forever, there was a hopefulness that it will come! This is the same way we would encourage a student to shift language from, "I can't do this!" to "I can't do it yet!" The research behind the power of that tiny word is extraordinary; "yet" builds capacity for persistence in complex or difficult tasks that are foundational to learning.  

I had enjoyed travel visas to China before, in fact, I had a current one that was canceled when the pandemic started. And, I knew that a work visa would have more steps and I was so lucky to be supported by the amazing team at my new school. And, this process was onerous.  I had to get health checks, have my degrees certified by the Chinese Consulate, submit endless paperwork, get a non-criminal background check, have that notarized, get another one because the first one expired, etc. . . Most weeks this year, my "action list" had a single box with "Visa next steps". 

In dramatic fashion, we got word that my visa was ready on a Friday, my flight to China was the next weekend, so things were looking good, but there was concern that shipping the visa to Honolulu from the Los Angeles Consulate was a risk, time-wise.  So, I flew to LA to pick it up in person!  

It's hard to describe what it feels like to not have to lean on those six little words any more.  I come from a long line of performative superstition-- we all knock on wood when someone says something we hope will happen to avoid a jinx, and say "rabbit, rabbit" on the first of the month for good luck.  I think that "yet" has become part of that tradition, and the first ritual in this space, that actually works.  Because, guess what, I got my visa!